BOOK ONE: I Heard You Hate My Voice (Special Behind the Scenes and Creating Of Documentary)
People have been making fun of me for the sound of my voice since I first started talking. If you think you’re the first one to tell me I should quit music, you’re not (and you’d be quite pretentious thinking so.)
From the time I was little, whether I’m speaking or singing, someone has always deemed it their responsibility to keep my voice silenced; to reinforce the notion that my thoughts, feelings, and opinions are not “good enough.”
That was until recently when I realized they don’t actually hate my voice: they fear it.
Being a self-taught songwriter and musician has often filled my head with self-doubt. I’m no stranger to the “am I really an artist” dilemma that plagues creatives. When recounting experiences in my past, too often I say, “that was a dark time for me.” Yet, while explaining these anecdotes, I always feel the need to list out qualifier after qualifier for why I feel, think, say, or do anything about my own life experiences. Do you ever feel like that?
The constant need to explain myself I’ve learned is actually the long-term effects of other people repeatedly silencing my voice; the consequences of other people’s actions. It’s not our fault that people like me feel we must qualify our existence, but it turns out “no” is complete sentence.
These prickly barbs manifested within me as anxiety; depression; self-hatred; frustration; self-harm; suicidal thoughts; and more: all because I have never once felt that anyone really cared about what I had to say. In other words, there were too many thorns distracting from the beauty of the rose.
Every artist has a story to tell. Every artist has had people try to silence their art; who “had their best interests in mind.” Every songwriter carries the pen that will lead them through the words, phrases, sentences, lyrics, and chapters that paint the story of their own life.
This song is for anyone who has been silenced. Whether you are LGBTQIA or not, if you’ve been made fun for the sound of your voice or people have spoken over you repeatedly drowning you out, I hope this song empowers you to reclaim what’s rightfully yours.
Every writer is an artist.
So since I happen to be a writer and a re-introduction is in order, why not start this story with the very first thing that made me insecure all those years ago?
📕BOOK ONE: I Heard You Hate My Voice🌹
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