Working on my next album has taught me more than I thought it would about myself.
I don't think I've ever admitted to myself how much I've sacrificed for my career. I wouldn't change a thing, but two months in quarantine has helped me work on my heart and mentality. Or maybe I'm just spending too much time on TikTok! 😂
Pop music is made for the masses and when you're someone like me who pours your heart and soul into everything you do, that gets very isolating. Every time I've released a song that doesn't do well, it's always felt like a slap in the face to the very core of me. A reminder that "I'm not good enough." I've been doing this for 15 years, waiting for this invisible recognition from some of my biggest haters. Why? I know their validation will never come -half of them aren't even in my life anymore! 😂
I know I'm not alone in this habit either. Most artists have people in their lives who have tried to deter them from chasing their dreams. Those negative thoughts stick in our heads and get channeled into our drive for success, to achieve those dreams. Like me, those universal truths exist in the lyrics we write, the art we create, and all that we do.
But what if along the way, our dreams change a little bit?
Not necessarily that our end goal changes, but the mode of transportation toward those dreams gets altered... Does that mean those haters were right? Does it mean that if you choose to go left after they've told you to go left for years and years -you're "giving in" to their criticisms? Not necessarily...
Your life is your own. Sometimes life takes us left, sometimes it takes us right (and other times it throws us all over the place!) Just because you follow one path doesn't mean you can't decide to take another. You're going to get where you're going eventually -you just have to hold on to that dream forever. I still want to travel the world as an international pop star, that's never changed -but the way of getting there, has. And it's ok.
Maybe this post is too introspective or too personal, but as with my music and my videos -I'll always be honest. I believe in authenticity and being your true self (even if my guarded self was unknowingly not exactly doing that 100% 😂). I guarantee you'll hear it in my new music though.
This is where my story really begins.
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